1) Here is an example of a C grade thesis:
a) Three plays all contain authentic portrayals of
individuals who have difficulty determining their destiny.
b) My comment: This thesis sets up a paper that will have this structure:
i)
A has difficulty,
ii) B has difficulty,
iii) C has difficulty.
c) How to improve it: What if the next sentence were:
i)
Hal struggles briefly,
accepts the destiny given to him, and achieves success. Hamlet, however,
struggles with the destiny thrust upon him by his father and circumstance. Only
by struggling with why he should act and take revenge does Hamlet come
to authentic self-motivation whereas Hal merely dallies with his destiny before
accepting conformism.
2) Here is another example of a C grade thesis:
a) Shakespeare showed the complexity of honor and how
it manifested itself in people. We can see these different masks by examining
Hal, Hotspur, and Falstaff.
b) My comment: Again, like the previous one, here is a paper that gives
i)
example A,
ii) example B,
iii) example C—but with no tension in the structure.
c) How to improve it: What if the next sentence were:
i)
Of the three
characters, only Falstaff radically questioned what most people see as honor
and decided that other aspects of life were more significant.
3) Here is a B grade thesis:
a) What do Oliver of “AYLI,” Prince Hal of
“1H4,” and Claudio of “MAAN” have in common? Love, and
it is a love that they seemingly oppose and resist, but that they ultimately
succumb to, and this love serves as the reason for their transformations.
Shakespeare undoubtedly focuses on the dilemma of his central characters and
the characters’ attempts to accept or overcome their problems. Oliver,
Hal, and Claudio do transform and become the type of individuals that their
loved ones hoped them to be and expected them to be.
b) My comment: This thesis is substantially more probing and reflective than the
previous two. It finds a significant point of comparison. It does not, however,
distinguish among the three characters.
c) How
to improve it: It would be even
better to then add a contrast within the comparison. What if this sentence were
added:
i)
However, in each case
the transformation is not as true as the most significant transformation we
have seen so far, that of Orlando.
4) Here is an A grade thesis:
a) Should you follow the crowd or break out on your own?
Life is filled with such essential choices, choices that define who we are. In
1H4, characters choose whether they will conform to existing standards and
values. What exactly are these standards? Some, like Hal, conform to the
standards of society and his father. Others, like Falstaff and Hamlet, find
their own path in life. I propose that in these plays, as well as in life, a
walk down the path of conformity is one that leads individuals into a world
where they know little of their own interests and values and find it difficult
to think with an open mind about life and their place in society. However, the
path of the non-conformist in these plays, such as the paths followed by
Falstaff and Hamlet, exposes one to misunderstanding and rejection.